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The Steagles

Steagle History/Bio

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As seen on the "Steagle: E! True Hollywood Story"

Meet The Steagles: Kevin Steagle Edition

Name: Kevin Steagle

Age: Bronze

Occupation: Resident Steagle and Steagle Demolitions Expert

Hobbies: Bringing Joy to his Steagle-ites.  Ridding the world of Evil.  Croquet.  And of course, football.

Turn Ons:  Good Conversationalist.  Being a non evil entity

Turn Offs:  Chewing with your mouth open.  Cats

Marital Status: Happily Married to the Steagle way of life!

Favorite Food:  Steagle Pot Pie

Pets: Not as of this morning.

Bio: Born in raised in an affluent poor neighborhood in Pittsburgh, PA, Kevin always knew he was destined for something...different.  Afflicted with some mental disabilities, he struggled early in school.  However he was able to turn his paranoia into a positive when he used it in scholastics and athletics.  Always believing there was someone watching him, Kevin excelled at Math and Science, concocting many a chemical compounds that he could use to fight off any evil fiends.  Always believing there was someone chasing him, Kevin because a stand out wide receiver on the football field, earning him scholarship offers to many of the top schools in the nation.  However, Kevin knew that football was not the answer, no matter how fast he ran, they kept chasing.  Kevin worked tirelessly at the Science labs at Penn State University, trying to come up with the compound that would make him safe.  He would use these skills he learned on those long lonely nights as the demolition expert of the Steagles.  One night as he was stumbling home from the lab, he ran into Justin Steagle.  As soon as Kevin saw Justin, he knew no one was chasing him.  As soon as he met Justin, he knew his destiny...

Meet the Steagles: Justin Steagle Edition

Name: Justin Steagle

Age: The soldier, full of strange oaths, and bearded like a pard, jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the canon's mouth...23.

Occupation: Resident Steagle and Steagle Legal Counsel

Hobbies: Suing the pants off anyone who slanders the Steagle name; selling pants on eBay; football.

Turn Ons: Light switches, cars, lawnmowers, gas stoves.

Turn Offs: Light switches, cars, lawnmowers, gas stoves.

Marital Status: The haunting memories of affairs from yester-year.

Favorite Food: Cheesesteaks without cheese.

Pets: Rock.

Bio: In the suburbs west of Philadelphia, born and raised, on a playground Justin Steagle spent most of his days.  In his younger years, he spent every waking moment playing semi-pro football and home run derby in his neighbor's backyard.  By college, he was regarded as the best wide receiver this side of the Ohio River, until a tragic knee accident on a snowy January afternoon ended a once promising career.

With football behind him, Justin moved on.  He focused on his studies, excelling at English and Rhetorical Philosophy.  In the year 2000, he won the equivalent of the Heisman Trophy of Literature...The Nobel Prize.  Was this his destiny?  Was the debilitating knee injury actually a blessing in disguise?  Are these rhetorical questions?

However, another change was on the horizon.  While walking down the street one night, a strange man came running around the corner at superhuman speed and knocked Justin to the ground.  The force of the blow shattered Justin's other knee.  Writhing in pain he looked up and saw Kevin Steagle, running no more.  This was their destiny.  Both their pain would soon go away.  It took Justin a bit longer...2 years of physical therapy...but Kevin Steagle was by his side the entire time.

The Steagles
est. 1943